From Dust to Ashes

I am shopping for a casket-. Do you mind if I make sure it fits? One that matches my eyes? 30% off the pre-owned section? Humor that kills.

Where do we go when we die? I was talking to Joey about this issue and we we were having a serious conversation. Well, he was having a serious conversation while I mocked and demeaned everything but only in comical manner. He knew I was not mocking him, but rather, it is my way of dealing with serious topics that I cannot handle. I cannot handle death. And yet, I tried to commit suicide? Irony for you.

I have been thinking a lot about this quote lately, “It ends not with a bang but with a whimper.” It is beginning to occur to me that the people that actually identify with this quote, do in fact, live up to its destiny.

If you believe you are going to go out with a whimper than by God, you will. If you live life with the greatest of aspirations and die with inner peace, perhaps you go out with a bang? I have not really decided for sure. All I am certain is that your perspective upon life has a lot to do with your overall happiness.

I went to church the other day to rid the flames that engulf my soul, and I was extremely impressed. They had a fog machine so that the lights made everything misty. Two monitors enlarged the “preacher’s” face and cameras whirled through the air as they got the best shots. Yes, it was quite a show, and it occurred to me, that like anything else, Christianity was a business- at least here it was.

The preacher started the show by advertising a T-shirt that could be bought at the gift-shop. Perhaps all the proceeds go to good causes- I hope they do- but this was all a performance. I watched with amusement, as I wondered when intermission would occur and I could go get my cocktail. The place was huge! There were counters with salesmen everywhere and I almost wanted to stop and ask if my flight was on the other end of the airport. (It was that big)

Now, I joke, I have to, its my nature. Yet, there was something else I noticed about this church. People were getting help or at least that is how it appeared. It is my hope that the genuine sincerity that the attendants had towards faith, love, and life was real. In fact, I would not have sat there if I thought otherwise.

No, it was not for me, but that is precisely the point. We all deal with things in different manners. I started talking about death but those obsessed with life never really pay much attention to death. It is finding that inner peace. I am positive, and I am different person than I was, but I have a long ways to go. Most of the people in the church were enjoying the moment, and I envy that at times.

Wether you are buddhist, muslim, jewish, and hell a scientologist – these are just paths to a free mind, to less suffering, and to enlightenment. Spirituality can be found in so many things. The very way that you look at the quote, “It does not end with a bang but with a whimper.” That is the ultimate question. What does this mean to you? Will you die with a whimper?

Joey asked me today, “What are you worrying about?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Good,” he replied and I let out a long chuckle because we had talked previously and he knew I was worrying but his point was made abundantly clear. Do not worry about the things you cannot change and change things you can.

Source: Ashes to life to Ashes Again

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